Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
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Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
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You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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