2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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