Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Randomize
