would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
