its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
