You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
