i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
