I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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