You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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