Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
