saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
North Korea, Best Korea!
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Damn victory sex feels great
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
