Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
