I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
