How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
