he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
