Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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