So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
