Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
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RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
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You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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