I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
