You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
