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He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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