yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize