I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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