Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
