did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
