I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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