didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
