I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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