I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He passed out mid-signature
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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