Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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