Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
