too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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