Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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