So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He better not be in your backpack
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
