If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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