There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
