looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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