you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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