I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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