i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
