Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
