I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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