I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize