woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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