Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
