Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
