I am puke
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize