i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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