we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
