Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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