I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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