I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
