Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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