their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
