To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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