I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
