i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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