Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i will never coherently bang her
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
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