I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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