I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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