pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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