don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
