so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
