at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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